Wash It All Away
by Angel's Nocturne
Summary: For YGO Fanfiction Contest 2 Azureshipping She sat out in the rain, hoping to numb away the pain. She chilled her body but not her soul. In her dark world one person comes to show her the light, even when they are in darkness themselves.


Disclaimer: I in no way own YGO. I do not own Anzu or Kaiba. Nor would I want to… or maybe I would… I could use Anzu as bait to get Yami and Seto just for… well, being Seto Kaiba. And then I could sell pictures of the two for rabid Prideshipping fangirls… and Anzu can write friendship speeches in a corner if she's bored. XD

Author's Note: Well, Season Two of the YGO Fanfiction Contest has officially begun. And, once again, I am a part of it as a wonderful contestant.

The pairing for the first round is **Azureshipping **or **Anzu Mazaki x Seto Kaiba**. … NOT a pairing I would do on a normal basis, but hey, that's what the contest is for.

Quotes about the Duelist Kingdom Speech are from the Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist Manga number six, which I also do not own. XD

I'm sorry it's so Ra-damn emo. **DX** I **TRIED** real hard to think of something funny for the pairing but, alas, this plot bunny formed very nicely in my head so I had no choice but to use it. I promise, though, next round I will make a super special awesome fic just for all of you who want my comedic genius (coughRyoucough).

Um, so, without further ado, here is my fic for Azureshipping. Enjoy my lovies.

#2 Author's Note: Thoughts are in _italics_. Enough said.

**Wash It All Away**

**By: Angel's Nocturne**

The icy rain sank into her skin, dripping off her already-soaked form.

It was cold, but not as chilling as it had once been.

At the realization of this a feigned smile graced her lips, now somewhat blue and very chapped. _Heh, _she thought dismally, _I'm so numb now I can't even feel the cold…._ The smile faded away as quickly as it came. Now, at least, she looked and felt the same on the outside as she was on the inside. She was no longer hiding behind a lie.

The rain continued to pour down on her, the freezing droplets stinging her skin slightly as they hit her, but not nearly as much as they had a while ago. It was too dark to see how hard the rain fell, for night had swallowed her and the city of Domino a long time ago; however, Anzu didn't need to see the rain to know it was still there, and falling rather heavily. The harshness of the storm had varied over time, unstable in its downward outlet. Anzu's empty eyes gazed up at the sky, black and angry like the rest of the world now seemed.

The heavens were crying. Weeping uncontrollably, sometimes merely letting a tear or two fall and sometimes releasing the entire contents of its battered heart upon Anzu's head. Her hair was dripping wet, clinging to her head, as did her flimsy clothes which provided no protection against the elements. Anzu's skin was covered in goose bumps as she shivered without remorse, but she did not hold herself, she did not curl up into a ball to conserve her warmth.

She was used to the cold. Used to the darkness curling up around her, like a protective blanket of sorts.

Suddenly the darkness was broken by car lights turning the corner and zooming down the street, and broken was the endless silence that consumed her as the sound of the car's engine purred louder and louder as it neared. Anzu watched with uninterested eyes from the wooden bench she sat upon, as the car neared the road's edge in front of her. The car almost seemed to be slowing down.

Actually, Anzu noted dully as it pulled up, the _limousine_ seemed to be slowing down—the light of the nearby streetlamps caught on its gleaming black form, showing it's true identity with their bland yellow glare.

As Anzu had thought, the limo was slowing down, until it rolled to a quiet hum directly before her. She stared at it with a lackluster gaze, her normally twinkling cerulean eyes looking as murky and empty as the puddles that collected on the sidewalk around her. She didn't know why the limo was here, nor did she care as she let her gaze fall to the ground. All she could hope for was that whoever was there would just quietly leave her alone.

She could never be so lucky.

"Mazaki." Seto Kaiba stepped out of the limo, staring at her with hard azure eyes. Anzu didn't look up as she heard the CEO's footsteps approach her, until she was staring at his shoes. They were black, leather, and they had a dull sheen when wet. Anzu's vacant gaze watched them with feigned interest, as if Seto wasn't there, waiting for her reply.

What was Kaiba doing there? Anzu couldn't have cared less why, so long as he didn't choose to bother her further. He probably saw her as he was driving by and decided to take a moment to scoff at her, like he always enjoyed doing.

She didn't give him the pleasure of an acknowledgment, or some other way for him to know she knew of his existence. She didn't feel like dealing with him. She didn't feel like dealing with anyone. Right now all she felt like doing was feeling the cold sink into her flesh and perhaps the coming of a passage so long awaited.

She didn't _need_ any _sympathy_… not that she would obtain any, considering who it was that confronted her.

"What are you doing out here?" the teenage billionaire demanded, after a long moment of silence. His voice wasn't mocking, or as overly-cruel like Anzu had remembered it to be. In fact, it was rather plain and dismal, almost _normal_ for the brunette duelist.

The lack of spite and presumptuous glory didn't sway Anzu. No, not one bit… she would not fall into such a sense of security. She knew too well that her opponent was one who liked to play games, just like the other whom she sat there for—

She winced inwardly. She was sitting there, all alone… wasting away in the darkness and illusion. And for what, she wondered. And for what…?

_For everything_, she thought numbly. Kaiba was staring at her, probably annoyed as hell and ready to yell at her for being so arrogant in her silence. She wanted to tell him that there _was_ no arrogance within her… in fact, there was _nothing_ left within her; it was a dark and empty place, her soul, because the one thing she had once held dear was taken from her.

No, not taken, she reminded her. _He_ had left her… and in doing so, he took away her desire to _live_—

"You know, you'll catch pneumonia if you stay out like this," Seto muttered when he didn't receive one, his tone emotionless. Anzu's manner was much the same, as she stayed silent. Her eyes, dark with nothingness, stared at his shoes and the growing puddle nearby as she vaguely heard Kaiba snort at her insolence.

"Hn. Has the cold already shriveled your tongue?" A mocking sneer graced Kaiba's lips. "Or are you always this rude? Maybe the mutt's misbehavior has finally rubbed off on you—"

"Just leave me alone, Kaiba."

Anzu's voice could barely be heard over the hissing rain. It didn't even _sound_ like her speaking—it was hollow and cold, much to her wonder. It was as if someone else was using her body as she sat and watched.

Kaiba didn't seem to notice. All he knew was he had been interrupted and no one dared interrupt the CEO unless they had good reason to (or possibly a death wish).

Anzu might have qualified for the second.

"Why should I?" he asked. Answered with silence the duelist uncrossed his arms from his chest, and stiffly offered the brunette his hand. "Come on," he muttered under his breath.

Anzu glanced up at his hand, her head barely tilting up, as if too heavy to move. Her solemn eyes saw his hand as a few raindrops collected in his palm. "Why should I?" she asked indifferently.

"Because if I leave you here, and you die from hypothermia, then I'll be the last witness to have seen you and I'll have to deal with the authorities," Kaiba said very plainly. "And frankly, I don't feel like wasting my time on that." If Anzu wasn't so empty she might have laughed at that statement and thought of something witty to snap back with. Instead she found solace in just returning her gaze to the ground.

"I said just leave me be, Kaiba."

A moment of awkward silence followed. Finally Kaiba's shoes started to walk out of her range of vision.

"Suit yourself, Mazaki." She could hear his footsteps fading into the endless whisper of rain. She was about to sigh, relieved once again at being alone, when Kaiba coldly added, "But you realize that sitting there isn't going to bring the Pharaoh back…."

Those were the magic words.

Anzu's gaze shot up instantly. She saw Kaiba now, standing at the edge of the sidewalk—his white business suit was dampened by the rain, as was his dark chestnut hair as it shined under the dreary light of the streetlamp.

He was looking back at her, obviously knowing he would receive a response with that comment. Her shocked expression was enough to satisfy him as a perceptive smirk came to his hard features.

"Hmm. So this _is_ about him," Kaiba mused out loud. Anzu narrowed her gaze slightly—why was Kaiba even bothering? Why was he still here… or even here in the first place?

What did he _really_ want?

"… I thought you didn't believe in that." Anzu's voice—unlike her face—was still deadpan. "You know, Pharaohs and 'hocus pocus magic stuff'."

The smirk fell off of Kaiba's face, and unlike Anzu expected he then started to walk away from his car, towards her again. The rain began another swift downpour, and his entire suit was clinging to his form. His hair was flat against his head and looked messy—so unlike the CEO.

Anzu watched, her eyes now filled with shocked curiosity as the dragon duelist stopped before her again. His own gaze met hers, and for a second the hard sapphire seemed to melt into aquamarine, like liquid pools of azure. Then they were like stone again.

"… Let's just say that some things have… changed."

"Changed…." Anzu suddenly laughed, a very dismal, somber laugh that even haunted _her_. Kaiba eyed the girl strangely, maybe even with concern for her broken well-being as she cackled quietly.

"Yeah, like that you're suddenly willing to be seen within ten feet of me," she said blandly. Her voice was humorless, making the joke more of a spiteful snap. "The _great_ Seto Kaiba, speaking to one of the _geek squad_."

Her eyes watched him for some sort of reaction—the one typical of him would be to make some sort of snide remark back agreeing with her and commending her for acknowledging the obvious. But instead, he seemed to ponder her statement with much reflection… something he never did when it came to her or her friends.

"… More things have changed than you might think," he said distantly. His gaze turned away, like it was looking at something in the darkness that she couldn't see. "And not just in me, as I'm sure you noticed."

Anzu knew what Kaiba meant by that. She shivered, and this time not because of the icy rain. "You wouldn't understand, Kaiba."

This seemed to catch the brunette duelist's attention. His eyes wheeled back to her, a dull sheen in them from the overhead light.

"Oh, I don't understand? From what I can see Mazaki, it appears the little cheerleader has stopped cheering because the head of the football team finally graduated to a better place," he scorned as her expression darkened. "The Pharaoh has moved on, and so has everyone else but _you_, from what _I_ understand."

Anzu lowered her head, her face shadowed by her dripping wet hair, refusing Kaiba the victory of making the girl's eyes once again flood afresh with new tears. She wouldn't give him that. Not Kaiba, not in a million years.

"…I said you wouldn't understand," she muttered. Then, unexpected by even herself, she rose from the bench, legs shaking from being numb for so long and maybe just a little from the waves of hurt that swept through her anew. "But, how could _you_ ever understand? You're _Seto Kaiba_, Mr. Cold and Unfeeling. You don't have _time_ for emotions, running your company and throwing card tournaments. How could _you_ understand what it's like to have your heart broken when you don't have a heart in the first place?"

For once Kaiba didn't have an answer for her. He looked away for a second, biting his lip. Anzu felt the hurting rise up like bile in her throat, remembering every moment of how her heart was broken into tiny, tiny pieces… just by remembering they were being broken all again—!

"No answer?" Anzu snapped. "Is it because what I said is _true_? Admit it, Kaiba! You know you don't _know_ what it's like to be hurt! Not like this—!"

"Be quiet." Kaiba ran his fingers through his wet locks, his voice barely a hiss. Still, it was powerful enough to silence Anzu's rampage as she gazed at him, taken aback. "You don't have a _clue_ what you're blabbering about. And don't try to turn this onto me… when in truth it's _you_ who doesn't understand."

"… What do you mean?"

"If you haven't noticed, Mazaki, you're wasting good air and life that could be used for someone who actually deserves it. What makes you think that sitting out here in the freezing rain is going to do you any good?" There was silence, before Kaiba impassively continued. "If you're so obsessed over the goddamn Pharaoh, why don't you just end your miserable life and go join him? Why haven't you done us all a favor and removed yourself from a world actually _willing_ to live?"

Anzu's eyes widened. "I—!" She choked, unable to speak further. Kaiba's words shot through her like an arrow, burrowing deep… they throbbed in her every thought, begging for an answer….

But she didn't have one. Not one she could accept, at least.

Kaiba took her speechlessness as an answer, and rightfully so. "I thought so," he scorned. "It's because you're too much of a coward to do it. You may say that you love the Pharaoh, but if you _loved_ him as much as you claim then you would have taken your life as soon as he was gone—"

"That isn't true!" Anzu shrieked suddenly. The sound of her own panicked voice frightened her but Kaiba didn't seem at all impressed. "Kaiba, I loved Atemu more than I ever loved anything else! More than I will _ever_ love anything else!" Tears ran down her face, blending in with the rainwater that still dripped from her hair. She shouted up at Kaiba's stone-like expression.

"You have _no_ right to say anything about me! How could _you_ understand? You never loved anyone like I loved him—you could _never_ relate! You could never know how I feel, Seto Kaiba, and you never will!"

Kaiba barely raised an eyebrow in response. "And because you love him so much, you're going to let yourself waste us away just because he left this world…?"

His words cut her again. Denial set in, but this time she really couldn't disprove him. She looked down at her feet, solemn again.

"… What else am I supposed to do?" she asked the ground bitterly. "He meant everything to me. _Everything_…. I was willing to do anything for him, if he only asked… and now he's just gone. I never told him… and now he's gone, forever… everything that mattered to me, gone." A smile of known defeat fell on her lips, as her eyes clouded with memories. "There isn't anything else for me now… now that he's left. I don't want to be here without him… I don't want to live anymore if it isn't with him. He's gone… just, gone…." Her lip quivered, and suddenly the hurt she had been holding inside burst from within like a broken dam releasing the tide. "He's gone! I loved him, and he's—just—gone—just GONE! He was—I am—I can't do this! I can't keep doing this!" she shrieked. "Oh God, let me die! Please, oh please—just, please, LET ME **DIE**—!"

**SMACK**!

The air echoed with the sound as if it were thunder—Anzu stopped, her eyes wide as she slowly, numbly, brought a shaky hand up to touch where the back of Kaiba's hand hit her face. It stung… perhaps the first thing she could feel besides the nip of the ice-cold rain.

"You're a fool." Kaiba's eyes bore directly into hers. "A complete fool." He wheeled away from her, his gaze turned towards the road and his waiting limo. "Mazaki, do you remember, what you once told me back at Duelist Kingdom? What you said after I defeated Yugi?" He glanced back behind him, at her, his sapphire eyes only dark pools in the shadowy night. "You told me that games aren't made from the struggles of people; it is facing yourself, no matter what, that truly defines a game… the game of life."

Anzu's dazed eyes started to clear. Yes, she remembered that speech. Kaiba had said that the game of life was played with a single chip—your life—and that when Kaiba placed his chip forward in his suicidal play Yugi displayed his weakness and lost. The words she spoke to him in her fury recalled themselves as clear as crystal:

"_You say people's struggles are a game! That's totally wrong! Facing yourself no matter how tough things get… and keeping up the fight… that's what games are really about!_

"_You bet your chip of life as if it meant **nothing**! You lost to **yourself**! When you realized you were going to lose, you didn't have the courage to keep living!"_

The rain continued to fall. _The courage… to keep living…_

"That day you said I had given up the will to live if I could not finish the fight," Kaiba continued. "You were right. I didn't have the courage to keep going, knowing that I couldn't win." His gaze narrowed. "Do you see that today you yourself are doing the same? You hold your chip out, willing to throw it away because you have lost the thing most precious to you. You're betting it against the odds as if it means **nothing**. You're trying to forfeit the game of life."

Anzu could barely hear him. In her mind the voice from the past echoed softly, the rest of her speech flowing through her:

"_Listen… **real **courage is protecting that chip you have in your hands… **no matter what**!"_

"_The moment you give that up is when you lose!"_

"Do you see now?" Kaiba derided. "The Pharaoh may be gone, but he already _beat_ the game of life, and retired his chip as a champion. You haven't defeated the game yet, Mazaki—you still have to roll the dice a few more times before you can join him again. Do you _really_ intend to give up so easily?" He smirked darkly, but it never reached his stare. "If you do, then you're an even more worthless than I thought. No one deserves to live if they're so disposed to give up their dreams in the blink of an eye."

Unconsciously Anzu clenched her fist. Her dream—to go to New York, to live her life a dancer. That was her passion; that was the fire that burned deep in her soul. The one thing that she felt defined her above all… was she really so willing to throw that all away?

"It's pretty pathetic, actually," Kaiba said coldly. "Your chip of life, so meaningless to you in a game that means everything. What would the Pharaoh think if he saw you forfeiting this game? He wouldn't give you sympathy, or see the hurt you spat about. He'd see a coward. He'd see defeat. And like everyone else, he would leave you. He would leave you, and then you would truly have **nothing**."

Anzu's mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. There was nothing she could say in her defense. There was truth there… Atemu wouldn't accept her for her defeat. Even if it was for him, he wouldn't see her death as a sacrifice she made for him. He would see a loser, someone who didn't have the spirit to continue on till victory. For all the times she cheered for him never to give up, what would this bring her now?

A loser, even in willing sacrifice, never gained a winner's spoils.

"You know what the Pharaoh would truly want," Kaiba muttered harshly. "He would want to see you win, Mazaki. He won't dare see you before your true time comes, when you can finally give up your chip. He won't dare see you until you face yourself, no matter how tough things get, and the outcome is with honor. For now, he would want to see you protecting your chip… no matter what."

Anzu looked up at Kaiba. There had been a softness in his voice, something she hadn't detected in her dismal fog. His eyes remained hard, but, there was something about this that made it all seem… genuine.

She bowed her head, unable to look at him any longer—despite herself, a small smile formed on her lips.

"… You're right, Kaiba." She looked up again, and this time small tears formed in the corners of her azure eyes. "You're absolutely right."

Kaiba made a noise akin to a snort. "I always am, Mazaki."

Anzu ignored the egotistical comment. "But… why did you tell me all of that? I know you have better things to do than preach life lessons to people."

Kaiba turned his nose up in an arrogant manner, his lips curled upward conceitedly. "I'm glad you know _that_ much. Saving you from yourself is not exactly what I would call a pastime." Then his manner turned slightly more somber, his satirical glare turning from her to peer off to the side distantly. "You had said those words to me, showing me that I was for once wrong. I only wanted to extend the same courtesy to you, seeing that some payback was required… shoving how wrong you are with your own words right in your face is something I've been meaning to do."

"Thank you then, I think," Anzu retorted cautiously, her shy smile growing just slightly. "I was wrong this time… I suppose I should repay you for your 'good deed' but I might as well wait until the next dueling tournament to extend to you the courtesy of showing how wrong you are."

At this Kaiba's smirk seemed to lighten, but nothing noticeable. Anzu saw it, however. "I'll be waiting for that," he said mockingly. They both looked at each other for a moment, silence and for once mutual understanding holding between them, until the CEO broke it as he turned towards the girl, walking until he stood over her again.

Anzu gazed up at him, curious, until she realized how wet she was becoming all of a sudden. Her head titled upward, staring at the black canopy above that was the sky. "It's starting to get heavy again," she mumbled absently.

Kaiba glanced up too, then back at her. "It would be against my best interest to do this, but if you need a ride home my limo driver can be of service to you."

Anzu shook her head, her wet locks splaying around her as she smiled. "No, I feel like walking tonight." She felt the raindrops fall faster from overhead, and she began to walk away. "And I should get going, if I want to make it home before it gets really bad—"

Anzu stopped, feeling hands on her shoulders, and then a heavy weight drape over them. She wheeled around to stare at Kaiba, seeing the CEO duelist without his white business suit jacket and looking at her blankly. Her hands went to her shoulders, and her eyes followed as she saw his jacket covering her. It felt gigantic and heavy on her small form.

"Wha—?" Her gaze shot up to Kaiba, only to see him striding away towards his limousine. She wanted to call after him but his voice sliced through the air before she could.

"Keep it," he said sternly. "It might keep you dry until you get home. And don't try to return it to me—I would be very inclined to burn it if you did, now that it's been sullied by unworthy hands." Under his breath he mumbled something, and though Anzu wasn't sure about it later, she swore she had heard say, "Besides, you need it more than I do."

Anzu watched him enter the limo, barking some order to the driver as he slammed the car door hard. The limousine roared back to life as it then zoomed away, down the street and into the darkness. Soon it was out of Anzu's sight, gone among the shadows and the rain.

The rain. Anzu could feel the downpour battering into her, stirring her from her thoughts as she turned to walk home. It was only a few steps into it that she stopped again, this time to stare back at the bench she had claimed for her own suffering so many hours ago. The streetlight flickered a little, casting a strange atmosphere around it. Shaking her head, Anzu turned back to the road ahead.

There was more to live for. Emotions and foolishness had clouded her vision, but Kaiba had cleared it for her again. To show her up, of course, but that meant little to her….

She was seeing again with eyes unclouded, thanks to him.

For no reason in particular, she breathed into the jacket, feeling the lingering warmth of its previous wearer. It had a strange, spicy scent to it that made Anzu's nose tingle. She smiled absently, pulling her cold arms through the sleeves and adjusting it onto her tiny frame.

_Thank you, Kaiba_.

And then she walked on, disappearing as well into the dark, realizing that, in the first time in a long time, the icy, icy rain no longer felt cold at all.

---

Inside the warmth of the limousine, the brunette duelist stared out the car window, watching as rainwater slinked down the tinted glass as his driver sped the limo down the streets. The streetlights passed one by one, lighting up his stern face, allowing his sapphire eyes to light up under their glow.

His eyes were no longer hard like their gem counterparts, no longer like stone and ice. Rather, they were liquid pools of aqua once more, like an azure fire that blazed deep within the recesses of his soul.

"… Ugh." He shook his head, running his fingers through his dripping wet hair. He was no longer freezing from the rain, but there was another chill that he simply could not shake.

And he knew why that was, too.

He couldn't stop himself. He was replaying her words over and over in his head, unable to keep from feeling the annoyance of how little she really knew.

"_You have no right to say anything about me! How could you understand? You never loved anyone like I loved him—you could never relate! You could never know how I feel, Seto Kaiba, and you never will!"_

In the dimness between the streetlights a smirk formed on his lips, as he fingered the tie absently.

_Mazaki… you were wrong more than once today, you know. _His eyes found their way back from the window, now staring forward into the darkness, just as the streetlight passed and illuminated his face once more.

_I have loved someone the way you loved him … and in the end, we'll never have the chance to tell them their importance._ He thought of her face, soaked in rain and tears, and his expression—so normally stern and hard like stone—softened to match his blazing eyes._ I know how you feel, Anzu, and unlike you, I **always** will._

The cold rain fell, but he didn't need that to feel the chill.

It was always there. It would never go away….

_And you will never truly understand._

---

Author's Note: GODS, that was so weird. I just started typing and it all flowed out, so don't question it 'cause I really have no idea where this came from. It just… did…. (bows) I'm so sorry, but thank you for taking time out of your day to indulge in it.

Well, if you liked it, you know where the review button is… (puppy eyes). If you hated it, um, review anyways? Reviews are SOO wonderful to us authors, you know. XD They're our crack. Or cookie dough. It's what makes us so demented and lovable.

Peace out, peeps!


End file.
